I accidentally had phone sex last night
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
