I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
