This show inspires me to have sex in space
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize