you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Randomize
