At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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