I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
