I'm gonna have a badass scar
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
