Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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