I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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