my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
