Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
