I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
