hotel room ftw
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
two words: eviction party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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