u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
