So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
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