Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
