I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
