Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
