Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize