Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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