WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Randomize
