i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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