let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
