when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Randomize
