I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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