i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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