You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
