summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
