I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
