No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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