Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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