if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
