Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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