Three words: puerto rican gang bang
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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