Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Randomize