There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize