After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
