Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
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He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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