She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
