Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Randomize
