if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
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