I accidentally had phone sex last night
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
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We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
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We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
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