Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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