There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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