You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
