I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
