Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i just google imaged poop.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
