i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
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