'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
