Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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