He is such a slut. More and more my type.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
