my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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