We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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