I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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