everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
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