ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
