you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
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