Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
