Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
