Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
