You just made me feel so damn special
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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