lets start a swedish sibling band together
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
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